“...This might be the last journal I write this week before we leave. I might write something on the plane, but right now, that’s all...Today wasn’t a very good day. I think Mike is mad or sad because my parents won’t let me go to the movies with him. My dad might let me. We’ll see”
This must have been one of our last days in the U.S. It would be my last “american” journal, so to speak, and the sure end of a dream. The fact that my parents, were reticent in allowing me to go out with Michael made everything seam even more sad and anguishing. What is it that causes this incredible sense of emptiness inside us? As experience has taught me, this sense of void repeats itself every time we feel something is missing in our lives or about to disappear. Most of the time, you can’t exactly pinpoint the reason why you feel that way, you just do. In this particular situation, I didn’t believe anything or anyone could ever fill that blank space I had in me. I could foresee my next days, weeks, even months, and they were dark and sad. I know now that times helps heal sorrows, but during this phase in my life, time was my worst enemy, because I thought I would never forget Michael. I never did forget him, sometimes I wonder where he is, what he is doing, if he’s married and has children, if he’s happy...I kept his memory in a very harm and safe place in my heart, and it will always be there...this, I’m certain of.
On the next passage, I describe my one and only date with prince charming.